Many people expect others to acquiesce in their every desire and requirements. They expect their environment to be set up for their success or whims. If you want to create an amazing life, you have to understand your roles in different situations. The fact is that we are all in multiple systems and, in order to succeed, we have to understand our role in those systems. We have to understand the challenges that each of those systems present. We also have to understand the opportunities that we can exploit. The problem is that we have this narrative about how life should be and we have this false ideal about how everyone should act in our world. The better we understand our world, the more opportunities we have to succeed.

We are in each other’s lives to make life better for everyone. 

Throughout my life, I have struggled with a physical disability and I came to the terms that this world is not set up for somebody with my challenges. With that being said, in the United States, they made a conscious decision to include me in society. It is a blessing.

 There are three components to any successful role. First, make sure that others are getting value out of you. The second is to make sure that you are getting what you need from others.  And, finally, open and direct communication.

Here are the different roles that you have to play in your life:

1. The relationship you have with yourself. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. It’s up to you to get out of your own head. It’s up to you to see positivity in every situation. Rather than getting mad at the person who cut you off, assume that they are having a bad day. Instead of getting upset at the cashier, get in your car and play your favorite song. Instead of getting caught up in conspiracy theories, focus on your own dreams. The bottom line is focus on improving your life and your narrative.
2. Your household. The second relationship that you have to deal with is your household. Your job is to make sure that you are a good parent, spouse, or any other role that you may play. This may include setting a good example, setting a code of conduct, making sure everything goes smoothly, and not being a pushover. It also includes teaching them life lessons.
3. Other personal circle. Beyond our immediate family, we have other personal circles that we are a part of. This could be extended family, different friend circles, or in-laws. The point of these relationships can be anything. Your job is to define what you need and what others need from you.
4. Professional environment. The main goal of a professional environment or a job is to develop income to support the lifestyle that you want and need. The problem is that most people don’t understand their role in the organization. If you are an employee, your job is to fulfill the requirements of the system or the organization. The better that you can serve, the more opportunities that that you have to grow. The way that you can increase your income and your opportunities is to develop yourself and become more valuable in that system. If you are a leader, your job is to set expectations, set a mission, motivate and reward the people who you need to engage. Another way to make yourself more valuable is to network and learn from others in your industry.
5. Lastly, it’s important to be a good citizen. If society is going to flourish, most members have to buy in to some basic rules of decorum or norms. If everybody brings their own ideas about how society should be and run, then there would be no rules or laws.

Over the last few years, we have lost some respect for each other. We are more unlikely to come to a consensus on even the basic ideas about decorum. We lost respect for the leaders in industry and other powers. We can have almost any narrative validated online. Achieving success includes serving others. Even though every role that you play is slightly different and requires expectations, it’s important to compromise and come up with win-win situations that benefit all. This means sacrificing some of your comforts, desires, or even success. Otherwise, no one will win.