A couple of months ago, my friend from college Sami and I went to Utah and Lake Tahoe. I went to Utah to see my mentor and colleague Frank Miles speaks and to hang out with him. We then went to Tahoe to see my best friend Patrick and to ask him if he wanted to move back down to California to help me out in my new house.

It was one of those trips where nothing went right. First, I could not get a handicapped cab for a couple of hours from Utah airport to my hotel. The next morning, I had arranged a cab from the hotel to the venue that Frank was speaking at and the driver never showed up. Luckily, the venue was in walking distance from my hotel. There were more problems when we got to Reno, which I’m not going to get into. By the time we got to the Tahoe hotel, I was physically and emotionally drained.

My life and my disability present many physical and emotional challenges. I don’t know what’s worse the emotional or the physical. I remember telling a friend of mine everything I go through and she said to me, If I were you, I would be in a ball crying all day. There are days when I am stuck in self-pity and self-loathing. It feels like every single problem in my life is a result of my disability and if I was not disabled, my life would be almost perfect. Well, at least a lot more manageable. I know this is not the case, but sometimes raw emotions cannot be questioned.

I could sit here and make a laundry list of just stuff that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Being the emotional guy that I am, I let things get to me. I get frustrated. I do complain. Having said that, I am a happy go lucky person. I love spending time with people, I love to laugh, I love to go out to eat, and despite not being able to get a cab in Utah, I love to travel.

If I hang on tight to every emotion that I experience throughout the day, I would be a complete mess. There are times when we need to hang on to emotions and there are times when we need to forget.

The last day in Lake Tahoe, Sami, Pat and I took a stroll by the lake, then we checked if the tram that went up the mountain was handicapped accessible. It turned out that it was and then I bought three tickets to go up the mountain and it was one of the best experiences I had with two of my best friends. On the plane ride home, I met a man with a one-year-old disabled child who inquired about my disability. We spent the whole time talking about his son’s future. I want to hold on to those memories, not the memories of the cab.

After I came back from Utah and Tahoe, I questioned whether I wanted to continue speaking. After all, logically that trip taught me that the logistics of travel were too much for me to deal with. After much soul searching, I decided that it is my passion and worth the inconvenience. I let go of the emotions that I felt on the trip. Having said that, I will never forget what happened on that trip. When I got back, I found a chair that can go in the back of any car.

Forgiveness is all about having a little bit of amnesia. Where would you be if we remembered every single bad thing that ever happened? Where would you be if every person who cut you off on the freeway bothered you forever?

I grew up in a family where any argument would only last an hour. My family never held a grudge. They would forget any disagreement in under an hour and it made our family very strong.

Like I said, a little amnesia never hurt anybody.

Timelapse - Lighthouse (Oct 2012) from IMK Digital Multimedia on Vimeo.