Labor Day 1998 was one of the most life changing moments of my life, with ramifications that would last me a lifetime. This is the 20-year anniversary of that transformative moment.

So, what happened?

When I was in my teenage years, I did not really understand what it meant to be disabled. I assumed that if I worked then my life would not be that much different than any other adolescent. After all, most of my friends lived within five minutes of me, and I figured out how to keep up with them. My amazing parents did everything in their power to make sure that I was comfortable and happy. They provided me with a happy and comfortable life. They did not shield me from the world, but rather did everything in their power to include me.

This attitude lasted until I was 20, which was a little less than a year from that transformational moment – Labor Day 1998. When I turned 20, it was like somebody whispered to me: “You’re handicapped.” Before this, I shoved any negative thoughts about my disability into the back of my mind. I told myself that I would just deal with these thoughts later. But guess what…? It was later. I was watching people my age going off to college, moving out of their parents’ houses, driving and even dating. At the time, I was at community college working towards a business degree. My plan was to transfer to a four-year college that was in driving distance from my parents’ house.

In the fall of 1997, I started thinking about what my life would be life if I was not disabled. I started to imagine my life and came to a conclusion that if weren’t disabled, I would be unstoppable. I would date. I would party. I would do everything in my power to have an amazing life. But, no, I was disabled. One of the dangerous assumptions that I made was that I could not go off to college for the simple reason of I would have to ask and receive assistance. You see, I need help with almost everything in my life. Getting ready in the morning requires help. Eating requires help. My studies required help.

During the months leading up to that weekend, I would come home from college, turn on some music, cry, and have a pity party. I became friends with a classmate who was getting ready to go off to USC. I saw myself in Arie and I told myself that I would be doing exactly what he is doing if I wasn’t handicapped.

At the same time, I was taking a history class from one of the most inspiring people I have ever met, Dr. Jerry Fecht. If I ever saw a romantic, it was Jerry. My soul wanted to jump out of my chair and just go live life.

I would ask myself questions such as, “would I ever get a job,” “would I ever date,” would I ever get married and have kids?” The answers scared me.

I would adopt the victim mentality.

The week before Labor Day weekend, I approached Jerry’s office because I wanted to get his thoughts on my future. He made two interesting comments. The first was that I had to become so educated that people had to find a way to understand me. The second was a suggestion that I should go to USC. He received three degrees from USC; so, I assumed some bias. I told Jerry that I can’t… He quickly quipped back, “why not?” I said that I needed help. He simply said, “then, get help.”

I left the office thinking that he did not understand my situation. Over the weekend, I thought about Jerry’s suggestion. Every time, I would get intrigued. I would remind myself that I was disabled and there was no way.

The night before Labor Day, my parents had some company and I was on the porch. I received a call from Arie. At this time, he had just started USC. Before he went, I asked him to tell me about everything. He did just that. Something propelled me to tell him about my conversation with Jerry, but I did not believe it.

Right when I hung up the phone with Arie, the guests at the house were getting ready to leave. I sat down and started to cry. My father came up to me and asked me what was wrong. All I could say was, “I’m going to USC.” “How,” my father asked. “I have no idea.”

Fewer than three years after that moment, I graduated from USC.

I learned three lessons important from that moment.

My reality did not change in that moment. The only thing that changed was my reaction to that reality.

After that moment, I still need help in the restroom, help with my studies, help with getting dressed in the morning, etc. Those things never changed, but I needed to be committed to working around my challenges.

I have control over my life. My disability plays a factor. However, if I want something badly enough, then I have to go after it.

I still draw inspiration from that day. On the 20-year anniversary, I want to celebrate my life. The question about career, family, and children turned out to be blessings in my life. Every time I experience a difficult challenge, I think back to that one night.