Life and achieving success is about inviting in new ideas, new approaches, new skills, new opportunities, and new people. It’s about expanding your possibilities and saying yes to new opportunities. However, this quest can often seem unfocused and disorganized. While saying yes can be powerful equally as powerful or sometimes more powerful is being able to say no. While inviting new opportunities into our lives is crucial for success, we don’t want to swing the pendulum too far and say yes to everything and everyone.

Saying no, having boundaries, and having a world view is crucial to success. Saying no acts like a filter to our decision-making.

It is important to know what you want and say no to what you don’t want. As an ambitious person, I am motivated to create a certain kind of lifestyle. As a disabled person, my number one fear is looking back on my life and saying that my disability got the better of me.

And to be one hundred percent honest, I stared at that reality more times than I want to admit, even to myself. Every time I get close or even have that thought enter the recesses of my mind, I say “no”, I don’t want that. Every time that happens I have a small pity party, dust myself off, and get right back to work.

When some people have that happen to them they retreat, they give up, they start blaming outside factors instead of saying, “no I don’t want that” and get back to work.

We also need a better filter to make decisions. We need to set a certain standard of what we want and anything that doesn’t meet that standard gets a big fat no. Say no to going into credit card debt. Say no to not being healthy. Say no to people who do not meet your ethical standards.

Where people go wrong is that they perform mental gymnastics because they are afraid of losing something like status or power. This is taking a short cut, but while you are taking a shortcut you are hurting your trajectory for success. A business person might take on a project that will boost this quarter’s profits, but it might not fit into their long term plans. A person might start dating someone who is not a good fit just because they don’t want to be alone.

It's also important to set boundaries early with people in your life and enforce them often. Human nature dictates that people, no matter how well-intentioned or ethical, are going to test those boundaries. Early on in a relationship we set expectations for the relationship, and we test them.

While collaboration is integral for any successful person it is imperative to know how to guard your time and personal space. We must teach people how we want to be treated. Say no to your employer who calls you after 8 pm. Say no to a family member who texts you during work. Say no to your significant other putting you down in front of your friends.

Knowing what you want and rejecting what you don’t want is crucial for your success.